Today is Bereaved Mother’s Day. I didn’t know this was a thing until I saw a post on Instagram about it. I have mixed feelings about finding out. On the one hand, I was beginning to feel a little bit wary about Mother’s Day coming up so it’s comforting to know there’s a day for mothers who have experienced loss. On the other hand, finding out that mothers like me are recognized today made an otherwise gorgeous day a little bit confusing emotionally.
I took a birthing class this past week and I realized that some of the information about how to recognize when you’re going into labor triggers a lot of emotions. I think about the miscarriage and relate the two together because, in my case, I remember my miscarriage as a smaller-scale labor. As my due date approaches, it’s hard to avoid thinking about or talking about what labor will be like and how to prepare for it. I trust that when I’ve finished laboring with Caleb my association will be different.
Anyway, to process through how I was feeling I decided to do some painting. It’s amateur work and not very good. I started with vague ideas and I don’t have the skill to make haphazard decisions work together smoothly. But it’s sincere and the act of painting gave me some peace.
Drops of Jules 