An original song. Penned 10.3.19
The first version of this song was written in September, but I suppose after all of the edits it technically was finished in October. This was a really dramatic and depressing first song, but it got the ball rolling. I was feeling a lot of emotions at the time. A lot of things from the past were merging in with my present and I was inspired to write this raw piece.
It’s hard to hate someone
When all you want is their love to make you whole
It’s hard to play victim
When you walked right in the fire without a word.
In any kind of relationship (although usually in romantic ones) it’s easy to feel wronged. I tried to capture the feeling of wanting to hate someone for how they make you feel, but ultimately feeling like you asked for it. You let them do that to you. Emotionally…physically…oftentimes both.
Use me, abuse me. It’s okay if I start to lose me
Just as long as I don’t lose you too.
I’ll let you fool me, put my blinders on
Do what you ask, no questions
Is that enough to keep you here?
There’s desperation when you want someone to feel the same way that you do. You’ll do anything. You’ll say anything. You don’t want them to find any kind of reason to leave you behind. Even if that means you won’t recognize the person you’re turning into.
These days feel so empty
Used to trust your every word, so insincere
My heart must love breaking
You can keep the piece you claimed right from the start
I just really love the last line of this song. I don’t have much to say about it. I think it explains itself.
And you don’t mean to
Oh you, you just don’t know
The only thought that stops the tears
My all time low
I heard a variation of the first two lines on the radio and I loved the message. There’s a hopelessness in thinking that the person you care about just doesn’t realize what they’re doing to you. It’s hopeless and hopeful at the same time.
This song was depressing and maybe a little bit sappy, but it made me feel confident in my lyricism for the first time. So thank you to all of the heart-wrenching experiences that made this song come together.
Drops of Jules 